What would you do if you found your date was testing you to see if you are a good fit? It is essential to communicate openly and honestly in a relationship. Walking away may be a good idea if you feel you are being tested.
A woman who reacted similarly with her date asked the forum, “Am I wrong for blocking a man after he bought me a $500+ dinner?”
Here’s what happened.
OP WAS INVITED ON A DATE
The original poster (OP) was invited on a date. The date asked OP, “What’s your favorite restaurant?” OP answered honestly, “My favorite place is a bit much for a first date.”
OP still told him about the place because she thought he was cool. “I truly love the place, so I tell everyone about it so they’ll go. I want them to stay booked and busy so they’ll stay open so I can keep going,” explains OP.
OP SUGGESTED A CHEAP MEXICAN PLACE
“I said that for a first date, we could go somewhere more casual, like this cool Mexican spot between us that has over 300 tequilas in their tequila library but is still pretty cheap when it comes to food. It has amazing tacos with handmade tortillas,” says OP.
But ultimately, he wanted to pick. I was trying to be helpful and make suggestions. Also, we live in different parts of a big city with terrible traffic that’s highly car-dependent.
OP’S FAVORITE RESTAURANT IS EXPENSIVE
OP’s favorite restaurant is about $500 for two. “I take myself there sometimes after personal accomplishments or just for a treat. Sometimes I go to have one of their James Beard award-winning cocktails and some apps,” explains OP.
OP’S DATE DECIDED TO GO TO THE EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT
Upon searching the menu, OP’s date decided to take her to the expensive restaurant for the date. “He wanted to try it out. Of course, I agree! Despite the price point, it’s a pretty chill spot (don’t have to dress up) and is a great date spot,” says OP
OP PREFERS INEXPENSIVE FIRST DATES
“For me, first dates are usually inexpensive, considering you don’t know the person, and the conversation is much more important than the meal,” explains OP.
THE DINNER GOES WELL
“We have apps. We have drinks. We have dinner. We have the conversation. We have dessert. We have a good time (from my perspective). This means we ran up a serious bill,” says OP.
WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ITS TIME TO PAY?
When the time comes to pay for the meal, both OP and her date say ‘separate checks’ almost at the same time.
“I won’t lie, I hesitated and said it after he said it because he asked me out and also insisted we went there after he read the menu and wanted to try the food,” says OP.
WHAT DID THE DATE DO WHEN THE SEPARATE CHECKS ARRIVED
“So, our separate checks come, no problem by me. I put my card down; he puts his down. When our server comes back to grab them, he takes my card, gives her both the checks, says he’d be covering it all,” says OP
“Then he LOOKS AT MY CARD INTENSELY,” adds OP.
OP IS ANNOYED WITH HER DATE
“It’s not that I think he’s some numbers savant where he was stealing my info by looking at my card. And it wasn’t even his little comment, ‘ Oh, now I finally know your last name,’ which I, of course, wouldn’t tell him before,” says OP.
OP IS ANNOYED ABOUT THE GAME HE PLAYED
“He invited me on a date, so I assumed he was paying. He then said separate checks, ensuring I knew I was paying for myself. Then he grabbed the checks and paid it all (annoying the server and me),” explains OP.
OP FEELS HER DATE WANTED TO CHECK IF SHE IS GOLD DIGGER
“I feel like this was a test to see if I would pony up to a $250+ each restaurant bill. I felt like he was checking to see if I was a gold digger or something, even though I’d told him we shouldn’t go there on the first date. The place I suggested we could’ve had tacos and tequila flights for less than $50,” says OP.
WHAT DID OP DO AFTER THE DATE?
“So, after I said thank you for dinner, I got in my Uber, left, blocked him,” says OP.
OP’S FRIEND THINKS SHE IS WRONG
“I told one of my friends this story today laughing, and they told me I was the villain in the story,” says OP.
“I’m just not into these silly games. Am I wrong,” asks OP.
Here’s the verdict.
I REACTED THE SAME WAY
“A guy did the same thing to me. We were drunk and playing Jenga. I was winning and said whoever wins has to pay for dinner. I lost and said I’d get us dinner.
We go to the restaurant, and when the check comes, and he sees me pulling out my wallet, he quickly hands the waiter his and proudly says – That was a test! I wanted to know if you’d attempt to pay.
I never talked to him again, he asked why, and I said I hate tests.”
THAT’S JUST STUPID OF HIM
“That’s just stupid (not you, him). Like, who is he to test you? I’m glad you never spoke to him again; he seems like an idiot.”
LIVING WITH SUCH PEOPLE WOULD BE EXHAUSTING
“People who do that on a first date will do things like that your entire relationship. It sounds like living like that would be exhausting.”
OP PASSED THE TEST WHEN SHE OFFERED TO GO SOMEWHERE CHEAPER
“Wouldn’t the test have been passed the moment she requested to go somewhere cheaper? Or when she opted to split the bill?
I am also a male and have been single for six months. So, I don’t know what is happening in the dating world.
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