In the intricate dance of modern relationships, roles, and expectations often intertwine. Whether a partner should work full-time can stir complex emotions among couples’ many decisions. A user asked on the forum, “Am I wrong for wanting my wife to work full-time?”
Here is the full story!
BACKSTORY
OP and his wife are in late 20s and have one baby together. They both live in Mississippi and make around $40k a year, and his wife works part-time and makes about $20k a year.
They do ok but have been running into financial issues. Like their bills and rent are paid on time, they don’t live as comfortably as they want.
HOW DID THE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS START?
“Some dumb financial decisions were made. I spent $4,900 on an engagement ring. She wanted a big carat, so I tried to get her a ring she was happy to wear, and then my wife dropped her online university classes because it was difficult balancing a baby and working.” OP explains.
OP’S WIFE DOES NOT WANT TO WORK, WHICH IS ADDING OP FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
“She hates working; she complains about working all the time. Even at work, she texts me, saying she wants to go home and be with her family. She wants to be a SAHM one day. But the way our finances are moving, it’s not possible. We’re just not on the same page on this.” OP said.
Her mom offered to watch our baby since she loves to spend time with her grandchild (free of charge), but the wife doesn’t want to do that because she wants to be one with the baby.
EVEN THOUGH THE LIVING COST IS VERY LOW, STILL THEY’RE STRUGGLING
The cost of living in Mississippi is meager; most people live comfortably off $2,700 a month there. He and his wife combined income of 60k is an excellent household income for Mississippi, but still, they’re struggling to make ends meet.
OP just wants to live a comfortable life with his family, so he asked: “Is he wrong in asking his wife to work full-time?” Here are some responses he got!
WRITE UP ALL EXPENSES AND EARNINGS
“My opinion would be for you guys to sit down together and write up all of your expenses and earnings and have a serious conversation on how you guys want to move forward by making some temporary solutions as her working full-time until you get out of this hole and then dropping hours back down to part-time.”
TAKE THE HELP OF BABY’S GRANDMA
“Think something like, I would like you to be a SAHM too, but we need to save to get to that point. We should do it now while we have help with the baby’s grandma. And a set amount of savings you want to get to before she drops again?.”
CONTINUE TO DO PART-TIME JOB
“Babies are babies for a very short time. I would continue to do the part-time work and agree to return to work when the kid is ready to go to preschool at 2. They could still benefit from grandma’s help and only pay for part-time preschool (which they will have to pay for regardless). The baby years fly by, and she can’t get them back in two years when they’ve paid off the debt. It’s much easier to have two full-time working parents when the kids are older than when they are a baby.”
PLAN FOR FUTURE
“You also need a plan for the future. College fund, emergency fund, medical emergency fund, etc. She needs to realize setting up a good foundation is more important than she wants right now.”
BEING SAHM IS NOT AN OPTION
“I think many women would prefer to work part-time or be full-time SAHM but don’t feel that is an option for their family due to financial constraints. To have their mother babysit for them free of charge because she wants the company of her grandchild would be icing on the cake for most families where both parents work.”
CUT YOUR UNNECESSARY EXPENSES
“I wouldn’t say you’re wrong, but I wouldn’t say you’re right. I think you guys should work harder to find a way to make it work for her to stay home. Perhaps she works part-time, you guys cut back on fun expenses, shop sales, and don’t eat out as much. She can work on that while staying at home.”
LOOK FOR ANOTHER JOB WITH BETTER PAY
“I think it’s very appropriate to let her know she needs to work until you two are financially better. Do you have room for advancement at your current job? You can also look for another job with better pay.”
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak