Every person deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, especially the ones who serve you at restaurants. It is a way of showing gratitude and appreciation for their hard work and dedication.
A man whose wife has the annoying habit of constantly complaining about restaurant food asked the forum, “Am I wrong for leaving itemized tips to compensate for my wife’s behavior?”
Here’s the whole story.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
The original poster (OP) and his wife (in their 30s) dine out occasionally, but not too often. This is because OP’s wife has an annoying habit inherited from her family.
OP’S WIFE HAS AN ANNOYING HABIT
OP’s wife always complains, sends food back if it’s not absolutely perfect, and makes needless requests/substitutions (she doesn’t have allergies or sensitivities).
“It can easily take 5 minutes for her to order her food. Sometimes I’ve already finished my meal by the time she gets her food because she sends it back, asks for modifications, etc.,” says OP.
OP HAS TRIED TO TALK TO HIS WIFE ABOUT THIS
“I know restaurant staff don’t appreciate it. I’ve tried talking to her about this, but she doesn’t see an issue with it,” says OP.
OP HAS STARTED COMPENSATING FOR HIS WIFE’S BEHAVIOR WITH ADDITIONAL TIPS
OP and his wife make decent money and use their combined fun funds on dates/dinners.
“I recently started writing what my wife does on the receipt and then calculating a tip (in addition to the normal gratuity) to compensate,” explains OP.
So, this is what he might add to the receipt:
– Complained about not having ___ beverage, +$5
– Asked five questions about a single menu item, +$5
– Asked for a new drink because there was too much ice, +$5
– Sent meal back, was exactly what she ordered, +$5
OP’S WIFE FINALLY NOTICED WHAT HE WAS DOING
OP’s wife didn’t notice OP doing it the first two or three times. “However, last night she noticed I was spending a lot of time on writing a tip amount and asked why,” says OP.
OP showed her what she wrote.
OP’S WIFE IS MAD AT HIM NOW
“She’s been mad at me since, saying I’m embarrassing her to the staff. I told her she’s embarrassing us both,” says OP.
“So, am I wrong or just petty,” asks OP.
Here are the best responses.
MAYBE THIS WILL GIVE HER SOME PERSPECTIVE
“You are not wrong. This is great. Seeing it written down may give her some perspective.
These types of patrons are the worst, and it’s such second-degree embarrassment when they are at your table.”
I WONDER HOW MUCH SPIT SHE HAS INGESTED OVER THE YEARS
“I wonder how much spit this lady has ingested over the years. I never send food back. If I do, I say I don’t want anything else.”
AS A CHEF, I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH PEOPLE SENDING FOOD BACK
“I disagree with you on sending food back. I have no issue if someone orders something and sends it back because they don’t like it or it wasn’t what they thought it was. It happens; it’s not a big deal. I want everybody who eats my food to be happy with it.
I have a big issue with people modifying a dish and then complaining that the dish isn’t good or doesn’t taste right. I hope those people have a special place in hell waiting for them.
That’s how I feel based on 20 years as a Chef.”
I DEVELOPED ANXIETY BECAUSE OF MY MOM’S SIMILAR HABIT
“My Mom was like this growing up. I developed bad anxiety in restaurants because of it. When I became old enough, I did exactly what OP did and started supplementing her (very meager) tips without her knowing.”
OP’S RESPONSE WAS PERFECT
“OP’s response is perfect. I’d do the same; if she didn’t like it or change, I wouldn’t go out to eat with her. I’d draw a line in the sand and die on the hill. Her behavior is beyond ridiculous.”
I FIND THIS HILARIOUS
“I find it hilarious. I bet the servers also enjoy the little fun and the extra money.”
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak