It can be frustrating for a woman when her husband does not help with childcare as much as she would like. Both parents should share the responsibility of raising a child, and it is important to communicate and work together to find a fair balance. A woman frustrated with her husband’s lack of interest in helping care for their child asked the forum, “Am I wrong for telling my husband he can’t go to the toilet?”
Here’s their story:
OP’S HUSBAND TAKES AGES IN THE TOILET
OP’s husband spends about half an hour on the toilet like many men.
“I have no idea why or how it takes so long, but it takes an age,” says OP.
THIS HABIT BOTHERS OP
This didn’t bother OP before they had a baby. “Now, it irks me no end,” says OP.
HUSBAND DOESN’T HELP OP WITH THE BABY
When OP’s husband returned from work, he held the baby for 5 minutes before the baby began screaming.
“So, my husband just hands the baby back to me,” says OP.
OP had to eat her dinner while holding a screaming baby. She had to ask her husband twice for him to take the baby when he’d finished eating so she could finish her meal.
HUSBAND SAID HE NEEDED TO USE THE TOILET
When OP finished her meal, her husband said, “I need to use the toilet,” while holding the baby out for OP to take.
“I simply told him no. I told him to spend time with the baby and stop palming them off on me. I asked him to wait for 10 minutes, specifically,” says OP.
HUSBAND LACKS EFFORT IN SOOTHING THE CRYING BABY
OP’s husband has zero skills in soothing our crying baby. He just hands the baby back as soon as the crying begins, or he just goes “there there” while he continues doing whatever he’s doing.
“It annoys me that he doesn’t try or practice getting our baby to calm down,” says OP
“So, am I wrong for telling my husband not to go to the toilet?” asks OP.
Here’s what the readers say:
THIS IS ABOUT HIM AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY
“You are not wrong, but this is about him avoiding responsibility and not really about the toilet.”
THIS IS WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE
“Weaponized incompetence is a common term for that type of behavior.”
NO, IT’S WEAPONIZED INCONTINENCE
“I believe the term you’re looking for is actually weaponized incontinence.”
HE IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A FATHER
“Men pretend that women are magically better at things they don’t want to do is completely frustrating. This is even worse because he just got to spend the entire day talking to adults and being a complete person, and when he comes home to a wife who has been home alone all day with a newborn, it’s his duty to try and make her life easier in any way possible. He’s not even trying to be a father.”
OP NEEDS TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH HER HUSBAND
“The baby is equally the father’s responsibility. When you are partners, you both help each other. She needs to have a serious talk with him about stepping up and being a father.”
WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH THIS?
“Tell him to either sneak into the house and use the bathroom first, go before leaving work, or stop somewhere on the way home. Why do you put up with this?”
TELL HIM HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO PARENT THE BABY
“It’s clearly not about the toilet; it’s about a father unwilling to be fully present and learn how to parent the baby. He must do his fair share of parenting and caring your child. You must have a real talk and get this all out for everyone’s sake.”
MORE FROM WHATANIKASAYS
Relationships with step-parents can often be complex and challenging. Emotional abuse that a child suffers can slowly chip away at the child’s self-esteem and a sense of safety and belonging. So, it’s no surprise that the child cut all ties with their step-parent when they grow up. Read a similar story here!
HIS PARENTS WITHDREW THOUSANDS FROM HIS BANK ACCOUNT AND ARE NOW MAD AT HIM SAYING “HE SHOULDN’T ASK ABOUT THAT MONEY.” WE THINK IT’S TIME FOR HIM TO OPEN A NEW ACCOUNT
Trust is a critical component of a positive parent-child relationship. Trust means that both parents and children can rely on each other, communicate honestly, and respect each other. A young man felt his parents broke his trust when he found $3,500 missing from his bank account that he shared with his parents.
WOMAN WANTS SISTER’S NANNY TO LOOK AFTER HER KIDS AS WELL. SISTER SAYS “NO,” BUT WOMAN DROPS OFF HER KIDS ANYWAY. IS THE SISTER WRONG FOR CALLING THE COPS?
Childcare is a demanding job that requires full attention and dedication. Each child has unique needs, and it’s the nanny’s responsibility to meet those needs. Overloading a nanny with additional children can compromise the quality of care provided. Read a similar story here!
HIS NEIGHBOR KEEPS ORDERING PIZZA TO HIS ADDRESS, SO HE DECIDED TO TAKE A PETTY LITTLE REVENGE TO PUT THIS TO END. WE THINK HE DID THE RIGHT THING
They say – Revenge is a dish best-served cold. In other words, revenge is more satisfying when you take time to plan and then take action. A student whose neighbor repeatedly ordered pizza at his address found a slick way to exact revenge. Read on as he shares his story.
A WOMAN TIRED OF DISRESPECT FROM HER STEPDAUGHTERS FINALLY TELLS HUSBAND, ‘MAYBE IT’S BEST IF YOU DON’T BRING THEM HOME ANYMORE.’ IS THIS CRUEL? WE DON’T THINK SO!
Blended families have unique dynamics that are often difficult to navigate. This situation becomes even more complicated when teenagers are involved. Read a disheartening story of a stepmom here.