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Wife Furious As Husband Tries To Hand Her Their Crying Baby. Says, “Going To The Bathroom Can Wait”. We Think She Is Right.

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It can be frustrating for a woman when her husband does not help with childcare as much as she would like. Both parents should share the responsibility of raising a child, and it is important to communicate and work together to find a fair balance. A woman frustrated with her husband’s lack of interest in helping care for their child asked the forum, “Am I wrong for telling my husband he can’t go to the toilet?”

Here’s their story:

OP’S HUSBAND TAKES AGES IN THE TOILET

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OP’s husband spends about half an hour on the toilet like many men.

“I have no idea why or how it takes so long, but it takes an age,” says OP.

THIS HABIT BOTHERS OP

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This didn’t bother OP before they had a baby. “Now, it irks me no end,” says OP.

HUSBAND DOESN’T HELP OP WITH THE BABY

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When OP’s husband returned from work, he held the baby for 5 minutes before the baby began screaming.

“So, my husband just hands the baby back to me,” says OP.

OP had to eat her dinner while holding a screaming baby. She had to ask her husband twice for him to take the baby when he’d finished eating so she could finish her meal.

HUSBAND SAID HE NEEDED TO USE THE TOILET

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When OP finished her meal, her husband said, “I need to use the toilet,” while holding the baby out for OP to take.

“I simply told him no. I told him to spend time with the baby and stop palming them off on me. I asked him to wait for 10 minutes, specifically,” says OP.

HUSBAND LACKS EFFORT IN SOOTHING THE CRYING BABY

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OP’s husband has zero skills in soothing our crying baby. He just hands the baby back as soon as the crying begins, or he just goes “there there” while he continues doing whatever he’s doing.

“It annoys me that he doesn’t try or practice getting our baby to calm down,” says OP

“So, am I wrong for telling my husband not to go to the toilet?” asks OP.

Here’s what the readers say:

THIS IS ABOUT HIM AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY

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“You are not wrong, but this is about him avoiding responsibility and not really about the toilet.”

THIS IS WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE

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“Weaponized incompetence is a common term for that type of behavior.”

NO, IT’S WEAPONIZED INCONTINENCE

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“I believe the term you’re looking for is actually weaponized incontinence.”

HE IS NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE A FATHER

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“Men pretend that women are magically better at things they don’t want to do is completely frustrating. This is even worse because he just got to spend the entire day talking to adults and being a complete person, and when he comes home to a wife who has been home alone all day with a newborn, it’s his duty to try and make her life easier in any way possible. He’s not even trying to be a father.”

OP NEEDS TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH HER HUSBAND

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“The baby is equally the father’s responsibility. When you are partners, you both help each other. She needs to have a serious talk with him about stepping up and being a father.”

WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH THIS?

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“Tell him to either sneak into the house and use the bathroom first, go before leaving work, or stop somewhere on the way home. Why do you put up with this?”

TELL HIM HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO PARENT THE BABY

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“It’s clearly not about the toilet; it’s about a father unwilling to be fully present and learn how to parent the baby. He must do his fair share of parenting and caring your child. You must have a real talk and get this all out for everyone’s sake.”

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