Every bride wants perfect pictures to capture and preserve the memories of her special day. But is this quest for perfect photos more important than the presence of your loved ones to share these moments of joy?
A young woman had to decline her sister’s wedding invitation because she wouldn’t let her make slight changes to the wedding dress code. She asked the forum, “Am I wrong for not attending my sister’s wedding because of her dress code?”
Here’s what happened:
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
The original poster (18, F) recently decided she would not attend her sister’s (21, F) wedding.
OP’S SISTER HAS PLANNED HER WEDDING TO THE T
The original poster’s (OP) sister has her dream wedding planned. She has been dreaming of her wedding and has everything down to the T. She has her cake, venue, dress, bridesmaids’ dresses, and flower arrangements all prepared.
THE BRIDE SHOWED THE DRESSES TO HER SISTERS
OP’s sister sat OP and her other sisters down to show them the dresses she wanted them to wear.
“They were cute flowy pink gowns with lace around the neck area. We all loved them, but I had a problem. They were short-sleeved,” says OP.
OP CAN NOT WEAR SHORT SLEEVES
The wedding is in the summer, so short sleeves are a must-have, but OP has scars all over her arms, and she does not wish to show them at the wedding.
“I pulled her aside and asked if I could get a dress with sleeves or wear sleeved gloves,” says OP.
THE BRIDE SAID NO
OP’s sister said no and wanted everyone to look the same, so OP couldn’t wear sleeves or have a different dress.
“I said I wasn’t comfortable having my arms showing around such a large amount of people and that you would see them in all the album,” says OP.
OP’s sister asked if OP could just put makeup on my arms, but OP has keloid scars, and makeup won’t cover them at all.
OP’S SISTER TOLD HER FAMILY OP WAS BEING DIFFICULT
“She then said if I wasn’t going to cooperate, I just shouldn’t come. She told my family I was being difficult and didn’t want to obey the dress code because I wanted to be different,” says OP.
OP TOLD HER SISTER SHE WILL NOT ATTEND THE WEDDING
OP’s sister sent out her invites a few weeks ago and messaged OP asking why she hadn’t confirmed that she was going. “I said that I was still uncomfortable being in short sleeves and would just not attend since I didn’t want to ruin her perfect day by dressing differently,” says OP.
OP ALSO OFFERED TO PAY FOR HER DRESS
When her sister complained, saying that she had already bought the dresses, OP said she would give her the money for her dress, but her sister didn’t listen.
“I know I probably sound selfish, and I shouldn’t let my issues be a priority over my sister’s wedding, but I don’t like being in short sleeves, and there’s no other way to resolve it,” says OP.
“Am I wrong for not attending the wedding?” she asks.
Here are the top responses:
OP’S SISTER IS MAKING THE WRONG CHOICE
“You are not wrong. You came up with a perfect solution with the gloves. Her not accepting it because of some ridiculous perfectionist aesthetic that no one will care about is absurd.
She’d rather have things look a certain way (again, that no one will notice except her) than have her sister at her wedding.
She’s making the wrong choice. I’m sorry it’s hurting you.”
GROUP PHOTOS LOOK WHEN PEOPLE ARE COHESIVE
“I don’t understand this “aesthetic” of everyone in her family looking identical like they’re in a wedding guest uniform. IMO, group photos look best when people are cohesive but not exactly the same.”
WEDDING PHOTOS LOOK BEST WHEN PEOPLE ARE HAVING FUN
“IMO, wedding pictures look best when people are having fun in them, not posing like stiff little statues who were forced to wear the bride’s uniform.”
OP’S SISTER IS PLAYING A POWER GAME
“No, sister is playing a power game because she thinks OP will be obligated to attend the wedding no matter what crazy demands sister makes. When OP says, “Fine, I won’t go,” sister has no more power over her. She can’t humiliate her at the wedding or set any further manipulative conditions.”
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