All parents want a name that is perfect for their baby – a name that is special, modern, and sweet. However, you must also remember that your child will carry the name for the rest of their life, so it should give them a good start.
A young couple recently discovered they’ll have twins but can’t reach a consensus regarding naming their children. The soon-to-be father asked the forum, “Am I wrong for giving my wife an ultimatum about baby names?”
Here’s their story.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Before the original poster (OP) and his wife married, they agreed that she would get to name their first boy, and OP would call their first girl.
They recently discovered that she was pregnant with twins, and after talking about it, they decided to stick to the original plan.
THE PROBLEM
OP thought everything would be fine, but ever since he heard the name his wife chose, they’ve been having problems.
“The name is bad. It sounds foolish, and it’s absolutely the kind of name that will get our son bullied,” says OP.
OP immediately vetoed the name, but his wife said he couldn’t because that wasn’t their agreement.
WHY IS OP’S WIFE INSISTING ON THAT NAME?
OP asked his wife why she insisted on that particular name. “It comes from a character she identified in one of her favorite books growing up. But emotional attachment doesn’t make the name any better,” says OP.
OP HAS COME UP WITH AN EQUALLY SILLY NAME
“I said fine; then I may as well name our daughter Hortensia Beerbong the Third. It sounds just as dumb,” says OP.
OP’s wife told him he couldn’t do that. “I just said, why not? It’s my choice. That was the agreement,” says OP.
BOTH HAVE BEEN AT AN IMPASSE EVER SINCE
“Now, obviously, I’m not going to name my daughter that, and I’m pretty sure my wife knows that too. I was trying to help her see her mistake, but she’s not listening to reason,” says an upset OP.
OP’S WIFE WANTS TO TAKE THIS CONFLICT A STEP FURTHER
Recently, OP’s wife has started hinting she might take off around her due date and give birth somewhere without OP and his naming input.
“I think that’s uncalled for, but I’ve got a week-long business trip that I can’t get out of about a month before she’s due, and I’m worried she’ll take the opportunity to disappear until after the twins are here,” says OP.
OP ALSO GOT HIS BROTHER INVOLVED
“I’ve told my brother to keep an eye on her while I’m gone, but it’s not like he can watch her 24/7,” says OP.
OP IS NOW WONDERING IF HE DID THE RIGHT THING
OP thinks his wife’s name choice is dumb and will cause problems for their son. OP’s wife thinks OP is controlling and overdramatic.
“Neither of us is willing to back down, but with her hints about skipping town for the birth, I’ve been wondering if things have gone too far. Am I wrong,” asks OP
Here’s what people said.
OP AND HIS WIFE HAVE BIGGER ISSUES
“You and your wife have more issues than just naming the children.
For her to threaten to take off and have the birth without you, and name the children to spite you, and then you escalating by asking your brother to watch her, is NOT a good indicator for the health of your marriage.
For many couples, naming their children two yeses is a win; a single no cancels that choice. You both should agree on the names.”
SPLITTING UP NAMING OR DISCIPLINING CREATES FAMILY IMBALANCES
“Parents in my childhood neighborhood had an agreement that the mom would be responsible for disciplining the daughters (2) and the dad, the boys (5). Mom was very strict, and Dad was nonchalant until they did something awful. Those boys were holy terrors, the neighborhood bullies.
I don’t understand splitting up naming/disciplining, etc., by gender. It creates family imbalances.”
NIX THE DUMB AGREEMENT
“I agree; people have gotta stop giving each other carte blanche to name their kids, whether it’s gender, order of birth, or whatever. I don’t even understand why a parent wouldn’t want to be a part of that decision. OP and his wife need to nix the dumb agreement and return to the drawing board.”
YOU SHOULD BOTH AGREE ON A NAME
“This child is both of yours; you should agree on something as fundamental as their name.
I swear, my husband and I each went through about 100 names for our last child before we finally agreed. And once we found that name, it was perfect.”
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak