Weddings are special occasions, and couples want their day to be unique and memorable. However, it’s important to remember that not everyone who is invited to the wedding may share the same enthusiasm for the couple’s vision.
A user who wants a sunrise wedding at the beach faces backlash from her family as they feel it is too early for a wedding. She asked on the forum, “Am I wrong for wanting a sunrise wedding.”
Here’s the whole story.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
The original poster and her fiancé have a special tradition for their anniversary. “Every year on our anniversary, my fiancé and I wake up early to go to the beach and watch the sunrise together. It’s a very special tradition, as we have both overcome a number of personal challenges during our time together, and the symbolism of watching a new day begin is deeply meaningful for us,” she explains.
WHY THEY WANT A SUNRISE WEDDING?
They want to incorporate their anniversary tradition into the wedding. “We plan to have our ceremony on the beach and have everyone walk over to a beachfront restaurant for breakfast, bloody Marys, and mimosas (we’ve already talked to the restaurant owner about this, who loves the idea and said he’d be happy to open early for us). After that, everyone is free for the remainder of the day,” she explains.
IS IT POSSIBLE?
Based on our geographic location and the wedding date next summer, the OP and fiancé have scheduled the ceremony start time for 5:30 am, when there should be plenty of light, but the sun itself won’t be quite visible yet.
“Our friends and family are mostly local and should all be able to travel to the beach in under an hour, except for some extended family flying in from Canada, but that’s unavoidable,” Says the OP.
THE PROBLEM
Not everyone in the family is keen to attend a wedding that early in the day. “We’ve been getting a LOT of backlash from our families about this, who say this is way too early, and we need to move the ceremony to a more “normal” time of day,” she says.
But the OP and her fiancé are keen to have a sunrise wedding.
So the OP asks, “My fiancé and I don’t feel like we’re asking for anything that unreasonable. Are we wrong?”
Here are the responses they got.
HAVE TWO CEREMONIES
“A good solution is to have a private ceremony with you and your fiancé at 5:30 and then have a second ceremony at a more reasonable time for the guests. The first can be just the two of you reciting your vows to each other or the two of you with a willing officiant and a handful of close friends/relatives willing to join. If two ceremonies are too costly and unreasonable, just do the first option with the two of you only, speaking private vows.”
KEEP IT PRIVATE
“Isn’t part of what’s magical about the sunrise supposed to be how peaceful and private and quiet it is? Don’t drag a bunch of people into your happy sunrise who aren’t 100% thrilled to be there. Keep that for you and your spouse, just the two of you.”
IT’S TOO EARLY
“OP wants the ceremony to start at 5:30 am, and most people are an hour away. Yes, they can get a hotel (if there are ones around there), but still, OP is expecting people to get up at best 4:00 am to get ready (if they got a hotel) or, at worst, 3:00 am if they have to drive the hour. That isn’t feasible for some people. If I had to get up that early, I probably would have a super hard time going to sleep and an even harder time getting up.
The previous poster was right, do a sunrise ceremony for just the two of you and have a bigger party for everyone else. If I am being generous, I would say NAH.”
IT’S UNREALISTIC
I think it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to be there at that time, but if one of my best friends or one of my sisters said they wanted to do that, of course, I would be there.
BE A GOOD HOST
“Dude, you don’t know how to be a good host. No one is saying pander to your guests, but as the host, you are expected to be considerate of them. A 5:30 am wedding (when you know most of your guests need to travel around an hour to get to you) is inconsiderate.”
DON’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE THRILLED
“Do you want your friends and family there? If so, don’t have a wedding at 5:30 am. If it doesn’t matter if they are there or not, do what you want.
It’s totally unreasonable to not only have a wedding that early and expect people to come but also expect them to be 100% thrilled.”
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Anika Jindal
Anika is a CPA and founder of What Anika Says. She shares simple and actionable frugal living, money management and money-saving tips to live a debt-free financially independent life. She has been featured on popular websites like Bankrate, Forbes, Mint ,and Authority Magazine. Byline: MSN