Are you a grammar nerd? If you often find yourself mentally correcting the spellings on a menu or fighting the urge to teach your friend the difference between ‘their’ & ‘there,’ you may belong to this group of grammar nerds. But should you correct people’s grammar if they haven’t asked for help? Well, that’s the dilemma a user faced as he asked on the forum, “Am I wrong for correcting my wife’s grammar?”
THE BACKSTORY
The original poster (OP) is a grammar lover. He has upset his fourth-grade teacher’s wife by constantly correcting her grammar.
WHAT IS THE ISSUE?
The OP’s wife is upset as he is constantly correcting her grammar. Once while they were watching television, the wife said, “I bet they’ll be making money off of this show for the rest of their life.” And OP immediately corrected her. “Lives,” he said immediately.
And this is not a one-time thing. OP does this very often.
HOW DID THE WIFE REACT?
This upset OP’s wife. She got angry and started crying. “She said that I correct her grammar a lot, and she finds it condescending and rude and that I am treating her like a child,” explains OP.
WHAT DOES OP THINK?
The OP thinks he is right in correcting his wife. “I feel that it isn’t really out of the norm to correct someone you’re close with, especially when it’s such a basic mistake. Also, she is a 4th-grade teacher, so it is kind of her job to teach others proper grammar,” he says.
He asks, “Am I wrong for being a grammar nazi? Should I just keep my mouth shut?”
Most people agreed he was wrong for constantly correcting his wife’s grammar. Here are some of the responses.
DON’T POLICE HOW SHE SPEAKS
“You have done this regularly enough to make her hit a breaking point. People don’t have to speak with “proper grammar” (a myth), especially in their homes. Even (gasp) teachers!
You made your wife cry, and she expressed that she feels condescended to, but you care more about pluralizing a word than her feelings. She shouldn’t have to feel like she’s walking on eggshells around you whenever she speaks. Learn to let the grammar go and not police how she speaks.”
THIS IS SUFFOCATING BEHAVIOR
“I am a teacher who routinely stumbles over my own words. I’ve always been this way. Every once and a while, someone will make a remark to the effect of “I can’t believe you mispronounced that word- it’s your job to do that right.” Or God forbid I forget a word I’m trying to say! And I can guarantee I lost all respect for anybody who makes these comments. I’m a human first, and all humans make mistakes, regardless of their profession.
OP, if you’re going to sit here and act like your wife needs to live up to some ridiculous standard of perfection, you’re wrong. How many times does she need to tell you to cut it out before she just leaves? It’s suffocating behavior, honestly.”
I’M A TEACHER, BUT I’M CASUAL WITH MY FRIENDS
“I’m a teacher and try to practice proper grammar and write with correct punctuation … whatever. When I meet up with my old friend, we be tawkin lyk dis.”
MY TEACHER WAS RAD
“I had the same teacher in middle school for English and math, and in math class, she would pronounce library as “libary”. Whenever someone would call her out, she’d say, “We’re not in English; we’re in math, so it doesn’t matter.” She was rad.”
MY COLLEGE PROFESSOR CONSTANTLY MISSPELT WORDS
“I had a college professor that would constantly misspell words on the board. A couple of cocky students would call her out to the point where she stopped a lesson once and said, “I have three letters for you that I can spell in order- Ph.D. Until you have one of these, I don’t want to hear it.” That shut them up quickly; it was hilarious since most of the class found them obnoxious from the beginning anyways.”
HER JOB AS A TEACHER IS TO GUIDE
“It just shows he doesn’t understand his wife. 4th-grade Teacher training involves no learning of the subject matter. Her job isn’t to learn things and then teach the kids. Her job is guidance, lesson planning, focusing on individual kids, behavior, admin, etc.
The curriculum decides what they learn.
She doesn’t need perfect grammar, the same way she doesn’t need to know precisely how a fault line causes an earthquake or why the Romans fought with their shields that shape. That material is all provided. Her job is to have the kids learn.
OP’s wife’s job is about managing up to 30 little people and their emotions.”
More From What Anika Says
The relationship between teenagers and their parents can often turn sour. They question everything, which can lead to conflicts. This situation can become even more strenuous if a drastic change occurs in their family life. Read more here!
Son’s New Job Means He Can’t Babysit His Half-Sisters, and His Mom Is Not Happy. Says, “He Should Understand.” Is This Financial Abuse?
Is a Mom correct for not wanting his son to take up a new job so that he can babysit his younger brothers and sisters? Read more here
He Cheated On Her And Then Divorced Her. Now he Wants Her To Look After His New Baby. How Is That Correct?
Divorces are messy. And when children are involved, things can get even worse. But what do you do if your ex asks you to babysit the kid he is expecting with his new girlfriend? Here’s what happened.
Anika Jindal
Anika is a CPA and founder of What Anika Says. She shares simple and actionable frugal living, money management and money-saving tips to live a debt-free financially independent life. She has been featured on popular websites like Bankrate, Forbes, Mint ,and Authority Magazine. Byline: MSN