Weddings are a time for celebration and joy, not an occasion to score points. It’s important to remember that the wedding day is about the couple and their love for each other. It’s also a time for family and friends to come together and share in the joy of the occasion.
Unfortunately, A bride found herself in a sticky situation during her wedding and asked the forum, “MIL Ordered Food At Our Wedding Dinner Before We Got There. We told her she was rude. Am I overreacting?
Here’s what happened.
THE BACKSTORY
The original poster (29, F) married her husband (31, M) last week. They had a small, intimate wedding with close family and a few friends.
THEY DECIDED TO KEEP MIL AWAY FROM WEDDING PLANNING
At times, the original poster’s (OP) MIL has attempted to cross boundaries, but they have successfully (for the most part) put our foot down.
When it came to wedding planning, OP’s in-laws were the last to know details, and OP and her husband thwarted every attempt at them paying for the wedding.
“This was a lifesaver since MIL assumed if she could pay- she could make it the wedding she wanted. We squashed that pretty fast and told our coordinator not to accept anything from her,” says OP.
OP’S MIL ALSO LIKES TO SPILL DETAILS TO THE FAMILY
“We have quietly kept them on an information diet since that incident, and we have also learned that MIL will spill every detail to family- even things she just wants to be true but aren’t. We learned this the hard way,” explains OP.
OP AND HUSBAND DECIDED TO HAVE A SMALL DINNER AFTER THE WEDDING
Because it was a small wedding, and several people unfortunately couldn’t attend past the ceremony, OP and her husband decided not to have a typical reception. They instead booked a room for dinner at a nice restaurant with a limited menu they picked out.
OP AND HUSBAND WERE A LITTLE LATE TO THE DINNER
“We arrived a little after everyone else (10 mins) as I changed out of a big wedding dress into a smaller gown for dinner. I sent an update about this, and everyone knew they would be at the restaurant a little before us,” explains OP.
WHAT DID THEY SEE WHEN THEY ARRIVED?
“When we arrived, my in-laws all had food for themselves ordered and at the table. The remaining guests had nothing; they had just ordered themselves drinks,” says OP.
Some of OP’s more vocal guests made a lot of comments about how they felt it was bad taste for my MIL to order food for her side of the family before the bride and groom got there.
WHAT DID OP’S HUSBAND SAY?
OP’s husband was also not impressed but kept the peace since it was their wedding day. OP did the same.
OP’s MIL’s reasoning for doing this was that she didn’t want to wait and ordered what she knew her side of the family wanted and that we could do what we wanted after we arrived.
OP’S OTHER GUESTS FELT IT WAS RUDE
“Me and my husband (along with the other guests) all felt it was strange and rude to do that at our wedding dinner,” says OP.
OP’S MIL FEELS IT IS NOT A BIG DEAL
OP’s MIL is not a fan of the comments from our other guests and OP’s family telling her to wait before ordering. She thinks this isn’t a big deal.
“Am I overreacting,” asks OP
Here’s how people responded.
WHY DID THE RESTAURANT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN?
“Honestly, I have an issue with the restaurant for allowing this to happen. They know you’re the ones who paid for the dinner and were the guest of honor. They never should’ve allowed this to happen without asking your permission first. You should have complained to them, and you should’ve received a discount.”
YOUR MIL IS EXCEPTIONALLY RUDE AND ENTITLED
“You are not overreacting, and neither were your other guests.
Your MIL and all your ILs acted exceptionally rude and entitled. Who eats dinner with others and just orders for themselves without consideration of others? I can’t even.”
YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING
“I do not feel you are overreacting. She has repeatedly shown you who she is. You should believe her. She will push harder each time you don’t react with strong consequences to her boundary bashing. But make sure DH is fully on board, too.”
HER BEHAVIOR NEEDS TO BE CHECKED
“Her piggish behavior needed to be called out. Good on your guests for doing so.
If she brings it up to the two of you, your new husband should tell her, “I’m glad they said something so that we didn’t have to. You ALWAYS wait for the guests of honor, and it wasn’t you, Mom.”
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak