Lending money to friends can be a goodwill gesture if you know they are in a tight spot. However, it can also lead to disagreements if the money isn’t returned. You will end up losing both your money and your friend.
A genuine friend, who lent money to a friend who fell on hard times, felt let down when his friend refused to return the money. The next time the same friend asked him for money, he refused.
He asked the forum, “Am I wrong for treating my friend badly over money?”
Here’s his story.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW?
The original poster (OP) lent his friend over $100 when he fell on hard times. “He had no food or job, so I thought I could help him even though I am also less fortunate,” explains OP.
THE FRIEND’S FINANCIAL SITUATION BECAME BETTER
After a few months, the same friend posted pictures of himself flashing hundreds of dollars bills, new shoes, consoles, and food selfies. “I was proud to see him doing well didn’t bother him about paying me back,” says OP.
BUT THEN OP LOST HIS HOME
“During that time, I lost my home and stayed with my family,” says OP.
OP asked his friend if he could lend him some cash. OP needed this money to get clothes for a job interview since he had to move and quit his former job. But the friend refused.
OP didn’t take the refusal to heart. “Ok, his money, his choice. It’s fair enough,” he said.
OP LIFE IMPROVED IN A FEW WEEKS
Weeks later, OP managed to get a job and become steady again. “My friend texted me saying he had no food and was starving. Me being dumb, I ordered him McDonald’s that totaled to $30 and KFC that was $20,” explains OP.
THE FRIEND PROMISED TO PAY OP BACK
The friend was grateful for the help and said, “Oh, you’re a lifesaver.” He was friendly and promised to pay OP back the $100 and an extra $50.
BUT THEN THE FRIEND DITCHED OP AGAIN
“Days Later, when I didn’t have any food due to me using most of my paycheck to pay rent and Uber/gas money, I asked the friend if he could lend me the money now,” says OP.
The friend had recently posted stories of him going to the mall and buying new shoes, an iPhone, and even a new dog on his IG.
But when OP asked him for money, he acted as if OP had spit in his face and was livid that OP dared ask him for money. It went something like this.
OP: Could I borrow $30 for groceries?
Friend: No, why do I have to give you money?
OP: You promised that you’d pay me back.
Friend: So? Listen, I don’t have money like that to be giving away.
OP: You posted yourself spending $300 and flashing money.
Friend: That was to promote my rap.
OP: So, you aren’t going to pay me back?
He left OP on seen and didn’t respond for two months.
NOW FRIEND IS ASKING FOR MONEY AGAIN, AND OP HAS REFUSED
“He later returned pleading for me to buy him food again because he was now broke. I refused to help him ever again,” says OP.
WHAT DOES THE MUTUAL FRIEND SAY?
Their mutual friend is saying OP is wrong for being distant and dismissive to his friend over $150.
OP BELIEVES HIS ACTIONS ARE CORRECT
OP has distanced himself from his friend for more than just the money. “He didn’t keep his promise and used me as a meal ticket and was only my friend when he could get something out of it,” says OP.
“So, are my actions wrong,” he asks.
Not at all, we the popular verdict.
WHY DID YOU BUY HIM FOOD AFTER HE REFUSED TO HELP YOU?
“You’re not wrong. But after the first $100, why would you buy him food? Especially after you asked for help buying clothes to get a job. Cut him off, he’s nothing but a leech anyway, and I’d expose him for it. The friends saying you are wrong for dismissing him, tell them to reimburse your $150 and give him some money, or don’t say anything.”
LEND MONEY ONLY IF YOU CAN AFFORD NEVER TO SEE IT AGAIN
“Lending money is fine if you can afford it and don’t care if you see it again. If you expect it paid back, do not lend it in the first place.”
THE FRIEND KNOWS WHEN OP HAS THE MONEY
“You are not wrong. But how are they so synchronized? When OP has no money, the friend has, and vice versa. I suspect that the friend knows when OP has money and makes up a tale of woe to melt OP’s heart despite being in the money.”
HE’S USING YOU AS AN ATM
“You are not wrong. He’s not your friend; he’s using you as an ATM.”
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak