Maintaining a good relationship with your neighbors is essential for a peaceful and happy life. However, when conflicts arise between neighbors, it can be tricky to deal with them.
A dog owner asked the forum,” Would I be wrong to insist my neighbor keep a yard schedule?”
Here’s the whole story.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
The original poster (OP) has a severely reactive rescue dog.
“She’s terrified of other dogs and freaks out majorly when she sees them or hears them,” says OP.
OP and her partner have been working with their vet and a behavioral trainer and have made some progress. But OP’s dog is still uncomfortable anywhere but her own yard.
OP’S NEW NEIGHBOR HAS TWO BIG DOGS
A new lady just moved in next door, and she has two big dogs.
“They seem like nice dogs, they are quiet, and she works with them a lot,” says OP.
THE PROBLEM
The problem is that she works full-time from home, and her dogs are always outside.
“She doesn’t leave them there for hours or anything, but I never know when or how long she will let them out. She also spends a lot of time out there with them after work and on weekends.
I can hear her training and playing fetch, or she’ll have them out with her while she’s doing yard work,” says OP.
OP’S DOG IS SCARED OF THE NEIGHBOR’S DOGS
OP’s neighbor trains her dogs and doesn’t let them run up on the fence. If they do bark, she makes them go inside.
“They’re still out on the other side of the fence, though, and my dog is now scared and reacting in her backyard. When my dog starts carrying on, she is the one who has to go inside. She already can’t enjoy walks, and now she can’t even enjoy being outside,” says OP.
OP ASKED HER NEIGHBOR TO KEEP A YARD SCHEDULE FOR HER DOGS
“I asked my neighbor if she’d consider a schedule for the dogs so that my dog can enjoy her yard too without the neighbor’s dogs freaking her out on the other side of the fence,” says OP.
The neighbor was polite about it but said no. She said she bought the house with a yard for her dogs, and they use it.
“She said she’d be glad to tell me when she’s leaving with them for a period of hours, but otherwise, she’s not going to change what she’s doing daily,” says OP.
OP IS UPSET HER DOG CAN’T ENJOY THE OUTSIDE
Nothing changed, and OP’s neighbor’s dogs get plenty of outdoor time, and OP’s gets none except for the stray times when she takes one of her dogs to a training class or takes both of them for a hike.
“I’m really upset and want to insist that we adopt a schedule so that my dog can have some outside time, too,” says OP
“Would I be wrong if I insisted she work with me to adopt a schedule that’s fair to all the dogs,” asks OP.
People on the forum shared their views on the issue.
ACCEPT HER RESPONSE
“Yes, you would be wrong here.
You asked. Accept her response.
You don’t get to police what people do on their property.”
THIS IS A GOOD OPPORTUNITY FOR OP TO ACCLIMATIZE HER DOG
“I have had rescue dogs my whole life with various degrees of trauma and treatment. This is an excellent opportunity for OP to acclimatize their dog to be around other dogs in a safe environment.
The process is complex, but it’s necessary. It’s the same as exposure therapy for humans, but it’s something that would help in the long run.”
THE ONLY WAY TO FIX A PHOBIA IS EXPOSURE
“I foster dogs and have 2 of my own. The only way you fix a phobia is exposure and acclimatation. I had a pup terrified of people. He would bark and aggressively charge at me. It took almost a year for him to relax and feel safe.
Trauma takes time, patience, and stability/routine to overcome. Having these seemingly very chill dogs on the other side of the fence is ideal for this rescue pup’s rehabilitation.”
PLANT LAVENDER IN YOUR BACKYARD
“OP, since dogs are highly scent-driven, consider planting lavender in your backyard close to the fence. Not only is lavender calming, but also, it’s a flea and tick repellent.”
ASK YOUR NEIGHBOR FOR ADVICE
“OP’s neighbor spends a lot of time training her dogs & loves dogs. Why not tap her expertise – Ask if she has experienced the issues your dog has, if she has any advice that would help your dog adjust & find out if she can recommend a trainer who specializes in this issue.
You & your neighbor can take this opportunity to bond over your love of dogs. She sounds like an excellent resource & a worthwhile human.”
OP SHOULDN’T EXPECT THE NEIGHBOR TO CATER TO HER SCHEDULE
“I’ve worked with a few reactive dogs, and the key is to expose them to what they react to while you’re there with them. Do this every day for 10-20 minutes, and OP will see improvement. She says she’s working with a trainer and has the tools to do so.
It’s not the neighbor’s problem. In my opinion, it looks like entitlement on OP’s side to expect the neighbor to cater to her schedule.”
Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak