You don’t need alcohol to celebrate or to host a party. However, going to a party that doesn’t have alcohol can be a disappointment for some people. A young woman who celebrated her birthday with a few friends asked on the forum, “Am I wrong for not telling my friends my party won’t have alcohol?”
Here’s her story.
THE BACKSTORY
The original poster (OP) had her 25th birthday recently. “I usually don’t celebrate it, but 25 felt special. I work evenings, so I invited about 15 friends for a Saturday afternoon (12-5 ish),” she informs.
THE PARTY
OP doesn’t drink as she can’t mix her meds with alcohol. Her friends know this.
“I baked a cake, bought some candy, made nachos, bought some chips, and bought an assortment of sodas I know my friends like. I also set some games to play in groups (Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros, and some board games) so there’s something to do. I invited my friends and told them it was just an informal get-together to chill. They all seemed excited,” says OP.
THE PROBLEM
OP’s friends seemed disappointed when they got to the party as there wasn’t any alcohol. Some were even upset. “One of them texted me after to tell me how rude it was not to let them know beforehand. He hasn’t spoken to me since,” says she.
“Now, I don’t drink. It’s not something I considered to “need” for a get-together. I didn’t even think of it. But several of my friends were upset, with one of them being downright angry. Was I wrong,” she asks.
Here are the common responses.
NOT WRONG
“You’re not wrong. This culture of NEEDING Alcohol to celebrate someone else’s special moments with them is bonkers.”
SHOWING UP TO A PARTY WITHOUT ALCOHOL IS RUDE
“That’s not even the real issue here (I mean to me, as an alcohol drinker). Who shows up to a party (knowing 12/15 people are going) expecting the host to provide all the alcohol? Showing up to a party without your alcohol is rude.”
FRIENDS WERE RUDE FOR NOT OFFERING TO BRING ANYTHING
“Funny how that friend called OP rude when they were rude for not offering to bring anything (when they probably would have learned OP did not intend to have alcohol).”
THEY SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT THEIR OWN BOOZE
“Yeah, I would have said something similar to BYOB if you want, but alcohol won’t be provided. But I don’t think that’s mandatory. If her guests wanted to drink, they should have brought their own booze.”
IF YOU MUST HAVE IT, BRING IT
“My friends and I do a “book club” gathering every couple of weeks, and several people always bring wine. If you MUST have it, bring it.”
IT’S RUDE
“Especially when the person throwing the party is also the host. Damn rude to expect her to provide alcohol for her own birthday when they know OP can’t drink. It’s like going to your vegetarian friend’s house for dinner and yelling because the was no steak.”
I BRING MY OWN BOOZE
“My sister will tell me not to bring alcohol because she has it covered. If she doesn’t mention it, I will bring enough for myself and something as a hostess gift for her. Who expects free alcohol at a party these days? It also depends on if I’m driving later.”
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Anika Jindal
Anika is a CPA and founder of What Anika Says. She shares simple and actionable frugal living, money management and money-saving tips to live a debt-free financially independent life. She has been featured on popular websites like Bankrate, Forbes, Mint ,and Authority Magazine. Byline: MSN