Weddings are joyous occasions, but they can also be a source of stress and conflict for many couples and their families. Family members often have different opinions on various matters, and it is essential to communicate openly and reach a compromise. Unfortunately, sometimes situations flare up, and tempers rise.
A young man who married a few weeks ago asked the forum, “Am I wrong for not including my sister-in-law in any of the primary wedding photos as she was wearing an N-95 mask and would ruin the photos?”
Here’s what happened.
THE BACKSTORY
The original poster (OP) had his wedding the previous weekend. OP’s wife has a much older sister (call her Ashley) who they invited to the wedding.
ASHLEY IS WORRIED ABOUT COVID
Ashley first demanded that OP and his wife check to see if everyone had gotten a booster with an updated shot, and then she insisted that they do rapid tests for everyone at the door.
“We told her that we aren’t doing that, but if she is worried about COVID, she can attend virtually,” says OP.
ASHLEY ATTENDED THE WEDDING
Ashley decided to come to the wedding, and she wore an N-95. OP and wife were okay with that. However, OP and his wife did not want her to spoil their wedding photos, especially the ones with the whole family, with the face mask.
“We asked if she could take it off for the photo, and she said no, that it defeats the whole purpose, and made a big scene,” says OP.
After that, OP didn’t include her in the main photos. “We wanted to look back at our wedding and see smiling faces,” he explains.
ASHLEY DID NOT LIKE BEING EXCLUDED
Ashley made a huge stink of it during the wedding and didn’t stay for the after-party.
“Then we later found out that she said if we get COVID now, we will 100% deserve it,” says OP.
She also told others she wasn’t included in the photos because OP and his wife were fatphobic. “This had zero bearing, but I think she just said to get more sympathy,” says OP.
“She told us that when she gets married, she won’t invite us,” he adds.
“So, am I wrong for not including my sister-in-law in any of the primary wedding photos,” asks OP.
Here’s the verdict from the people of the forum.
SHE SHOULD HAVE STAYED AT HOME
“Everyone is wrong here.
If she’s so at risk she can’t take the mask off for even a minute to snap a couple of photos, she probably shouldn’t have even been there. Her behavior was also extremely inappropriate and made it seem like half the reason she wears the mask is so she can make everything about her.
That said, it wouldn’t have killed you to take a couple of photos with her in them; you don’t even have to keep them.
But, if masking is such a big issue for her that she will make it everyone else’s problem and try to ruin everyone’s time, she should have just stayed home or attended virtually.”
HOW DID SHE EAT OR DRINK AT THE WEDDING?
“I agree with this. Is she going to eat or drink at the wedding? If so, taking your mask off to eat a bite of food or a sip of a drink is no different than taking it off for a quick pic.
I wouldn’t want to be in photos if I had to wear a mask. Then again, I’d probably not come.
She could have taken one with her included, but I’m leaning more towards ‘not wrong’ because she has been so pushy about it.
DON’T BAN YOUR FAMILY FOR BEING VISUALLY INCONVENIENT
“She’s allowed to attend to her comfort level. You shouldn’t ban your family for being visually inconvenient.”
SHE SHOULD HAVE ATTENDED VIRTUALLY
“This obviously wasn’t to her comfort level. She wanted rapid tests for all guests, screening for booster shots, and being around many people in the pics but with her mask on only. This event WAS NOT to her comfort level, yet she attended anyway and tried to change how OTHERS had to behave.
She should have attended virtually.”
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLY NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOR
Making demands for a wedding that’s not yours is unbelievably narcissistic behavior. She follows that up by lying and making herself an even bigger victim and then says they’re not invited to her wedding (which will likely never happen).
STAGED PHOTOS DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT
“All my family’s staged wedding photos of the entire family groups include everyone there, regardless of their appearance. When I was a grumpy kid scowling on the bottom step? Still in the photo. When my cousin and her husband were more cautious maskers during early Omicron? Still in the picture.
Staged doesn’t have to be coupled with exclusion of everything that doesn’t meet some standard of perfection.”
A MASK CAN BE REMOVED FOR A FEW SECONDS FOR A PHOTO
“Wedding photos are typically posed for and meant to have a nice formal look. Someone wearing an N95 mask doesn’t fit a traditional wedding photo look. People pay a lot for wedding photos; wanting them to look decent is not unreasonable.
This isn’t a case of not including someone in the photos because they have a birthmark or a prosthetic arm. A mask can be removed for a few seconds to take a photo and would make an image look ridiculous.”
YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO EXCLUDE HER ENTIRELY
Everyone is wrong here. She didn’t need to make a big deal out of it at your wedding, nor after.
You also didn’t need to exclude her entirely. They are photographs of your day, of which she was a part. You ignored that she bothered to come by not having in some of the photos when it takes 8 seconds to swap her in and out and get pics both with and w/o her. It’s a mask – a medical device that saves lives, not like a gimp suit or a furry suit or something. Get over yourself.
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak