Babysitting grandchildren is one of the greatest joys of being a grandparent. Spending time with the little ones can be fun and rewarding. However, sometimes family issues can keep the grandparents and grandchildren apart.
A grandmother asks the forum, “Am I wrong for refusing to babysit my grandchild due to her not being my biological grandkid.”
Here’s the whole story.
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
The original poster’s (OP) son was married to Emma. They got married and had a kid.
OP’s son doubted whether he was the father and got a DNA test. He was not the father. Since OP’s son has been in the kid’s life for four years and his name is on the birth certificate, he is legally responsible and still loves the kid.
THE ISSUE
Before OP’s son and wife divorced, OP was never allowed near the grandkid.
“I asked to babysit, but they both cited that my home was unsafe and they do not trust me with a baby, even if I raised four kids,” says OP.
They wouldn’t even bring the kid to family events like Christmas.
HER SON DID THE SAME WITH HIS SIBLINGS
OP’s son and Emma did this with all of his siblings.
“I know I am from more country side than them, but it hurts a lot. My other kid’s relationship with him is strained because they believe he looks down on them after he got a city job,” says OP.
OP’S SON WANTS OP TO BABYSIT NOW
After the divorce, OP’s son has the kid almost 50 percent of the time and keeps asking OP to babysit.
“I told him straight up that I will not babysit the kid since she is not my grandkid, and you made it clear I wasn’t good enough to babysit when you thought she was your kid,” says OP.
THIS LED TO A HUGE ARGUMENT
“He thinks I am awful. I think he wants someone to parent because he cannot rely on his ex-wife anymore,” says OP.
OP’S HOUSE IS STILL THE SAME
“The reason he claimed my house was unsafe was the horses,” says OP.
Nothing about OP’s house has changed. Everything is locked if it is dangerous. “I’ve watched my other grandkid, and there have been zero issues,” explains OP.
Am I wrong for not wanting to babysit my grandkid,” asks OP.
Here are the top responses.
IT’S NOT ABOUT THE DNA
“You are not wrong. It’s not about the DNA; it’s about snubbing you before.”
IT’S ABOUT HIS TREATMENT TOWARDS YOU
“It’s about his treatment towards you and not allowing you to be this kids’ grandparent by refusing to spend time with you.”
OP IS NOT GIVING US THE FULL STORY
“You are not wrong.
We don’t know the full context here; she’s saying they wouldn’t let her babysit back then, and there may be a good reason for that. OP is not giving us the full story here, just what she wants us to know so that she can feel justified in her decision.”
DAD HAS CHANGED TUNE DUE TO DESPERATION
“And I assume you still have the horses, right? Nothing had changed about your home/property. That does sound like he has changed his tune due to desperation now. I would have told him I wouldn’t want anything to happen to (grandchild), so I will have to decline.”
IF THE DAD WANTED HIS KID TO KNOW OP, HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT
“Dad has the same legal rights as mom. He would have made it happen if he wanted his kid to get to know OP. He didn’t. Now he wants free childcare since he no longer has a wife to do that.”
I DON’T BLAME OP
“I don’t blame her. There is no emotional connection due to the son, and now there is not a biological obligation either.
Also, it sounds like he wants to use her for babysitting now since he can’t handle raising a kid alone. I doubt she would have been let near the kid if it never came to light, especially with the son’s attitude to the country.
He made This situation, and now she has no reason to try, especially if he never apologized.”
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Chhavi
Chhavi Agarwal is a lawyer who quit her job to become a full-time work-from-home blogger. She shares tips and tricks on making money online, side hustles, freelancing, and blogging through her blog, Mrs. Daaku Studio. She has been featured on Forbes, Business Insider, Peru Tribune, Kentucky Today and More. Byline: MSN, AP Wire, Newsbreak