A 15th birthday is a significant milestone in the life of a child. Your child is transitioning into adulthood and wants to be taken seriously. This can often lead to friction in the house.
A daughter annoyed her mother when she told her not to invite her boyfriend to her birthday party. She asked the forum, “Am I wrong for asking my mother not to invite her boyfriend to my birthday celebration?”
Here’s what happened:
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
The original poster (OP) is a teenager (15, F) whose mother has been dating a man for around ten months. OP had met him about two months into their dating.
“I didn’t interact with him much after our first meeting until recently. Now, he’s constantly at my house, at least once a week,” says OP.
OP DISLIKE HER MOTHER’S BOYFRIEND
“He’s a loud, immature douchebag that feels the need to tease me,” says OP.
He yells at OP for small things, like accidentally opening the door and waking him up whenever he’s sleeping or whenever OP accidentally leaves the sink dripping.
MOM’S BF ALSO SMOKES WEED
“He smokes weed in the house and causes an awful smell. He vapes whenever I’m in the car, making it difficult to breathe,” says OP.
OP HATES HER MOM’S BF FOR MOCKING HER
He makes fun of OP whenever her baking comes out badly.
“I made snickerdoodle cookies a few weeks ago, and they tasted so much better than they looked. I was the only one at home at the time, and he tried one and said they were really good,” says OP.
The next day, when OP came home from her boyfriend’s house, the family was talking in the kitchen. “He pointed to the plate of my cookies and said ‘those look horrible’ just to make my mom and siblings laugh,” says OP.
“I do not like him at all,” she adds.
OP TOLD HER MOM NOT TO BRING HER BF
OP’s birthday is coming up on October 2. OP knew her mom would try to bring her FB along.
“He doesn’t live with us, but she constantly feels the need to bring him to every family event. We were supposed to go to my uncle’s house to celebrate my birthday, so I texted my mom, asking not to invite him,” says OP.
“He had already messed up my sister’s birthday in August by yelling at her whenever she had a panic attack and started crying whenever they were in a restaurant,” explains OP.
OP TOLD HER MOM SHE DISLIKE HER BF
OP’s mom asked why OP didn’t want him coming, and OP told her because she didn’t like him.
She accused OP of not liking him because he won’t tolerate my backtalk. “I don’t even talk back to him unless he starts with making a snarky comment,” explains OP.
OP AND MOM ARGUED FOR AN HOUR
The two argued for an hour over text. OP’s mom kept asking OP why she didn’t want him to come because “OP didn’t give her an actual reason.”
“I asked her if me not liking him wasn’t a valid reason, and she said it wasn’t because everyone else likes him,” says OP.
NOBODY LIKES MOM’S BF
“My sister, boyfriend, aunt, and grandma all dislike her BF,” says OP.
MOM CANCELED OP’S BIRTHDAY PLANS
“Eventually, she just said that we’ll cancel the plans to celebrate at my uncle’s and that we’ll just get dinner for my birthday without her boyfriend. She said I hate him for no reason and always cause a scene,” says OP.
“So, am I wrong,” asks OP.
Here are the views of the people of the forum.
YOU AND YOUR MOTHER SHOULD TALK ABOUT HIM
“You don’t have to like someone like him at your celebration who would likely ruin it to some degree.
You should all sit down with your mom and tell her what kind of person he is. That might be what it takes to make her more aware.”
TELL YOUR OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS
“You are not wrong. If the man made my daughter uncomfortable, that would be the end of it for me. And the fact that she lets him smoke around you isn’t healthy. I’d tell your other family members what is going on so they can support you. Do your aunts and uncles who don’t care for him know what’s going on at home?”
COULD YOU LIVE WITH A RELATIVE?
“You are not wrong. How is your relationship with your father? Would you stay with him until your mother’s relationship with that man ends? It is not a good environment for you. Could you live with a relative?”
YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT AVOIDING UNPLEASANT COMPANY
“OP, you are not wrong. You have every right not wanting unpleasant company like ruining your birthday, & you have every reason to suspect that your mom’s bf would ruin it, given how he treats you & how he acted at your sister’s birthday. You not liking him absolutely should be a ‘good reason indeed’; the only reason it’s not because is that your mom keeps deliberately choosing him over the family she already has.”
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