Vacations are a time to relax and have fun. So what do you do if your family expects you to help with babysitting while on a family vacation? A user in this problematic situation asked on the forum, “Am I wrong for saying I’ll be driving myself and paying for my own room on the upcoming family vacation so I won’t have to be a babysitter?”
Here’s the whole story.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
The original poster (OP) is a 23-year-old male who was repeatedly stuck playing the part of helper and babysitter on family outings. “I had to move out of my parent’s house because I kept being forced to help watch my three nephews,” he explains.
WHAT HAPPENED DURING THE LAST VACATION?
Last year the OP and his family took a vacation during summer to the coast. “I rode with my parents, who paid for my hotel room. Only, I had to share that room with three rowdy boys because my sister and her husband wanted a room to themselves,” says the OP.
He was promised time to do his own things on vacation, but instead, he ended up having to help with these kids. When he complained to everyone about it, he was reminded he was there for free. “And then we pretty much just did only one thing I wanted to do: a tour of an art gallery. I like doing this whenever I’m at the coast. But the kids find it boring,” he explains.
THERE IS ANOTHER TRIP PLANNED THIS YEAR
This year OP’s parents have a beach trip planned for June. They assumed he would ride the same way as last year, but OP refused. He said he would drive himself and pay for his hotel stay to have his own room.
OP’s parents were shocked and tried to remind him of the cost. “I said it was no worry. I’ve got a good job and a decent running car. I can more than afford it,” says OP.
That’s when the “Buts” started. OP stated the previously listed reasons why he’d be driving and paying for himself. “I want to be able to enjoy this vacation as an adult and not be treated like a child, like last year,” he told them.
OP’S parents told his sister about this conversation, and she called to blow up at him that he’ll be ruining the vacation if he’s off doing his own thing while she has to wrangle her three boys. “I ended up yelling at her that last year all she did was rope me into her mess. I didn’t really get to do much of anything I wanted to do. And I was treated like the bad guy for wanting to go to an art gallery. I’m a grown man. I deserve my own vacation, too,” explains OP.
THE PROBLEM
“Now my sister is not speaking to me, and my parents are still trying to convince me to ride with them to keep the peace. I’m still refusing. But the pressure is getting to me. Am I wrong for not giving in? I know they’ll have a pretty hard time when they won’t have another person there to help,” she asks.
Here are the responses OP got.
AVOID THE FAMILY VACATION
“My parents told my sister, and she called to blow up at me that I’ll be ruining the vacation if I’m off doing my own thing while she has to wrangle her three boys.
That’s a laugh. She’s admitting she’s ruining your vacation to not ruin her own! They’re her kids and her responsibility.
You’re not wrong. You’re nicer than I would be; I’d just say, no thanks; I’ve got other plans and avoid the family vacation altogether.”
STAY YOUR GROUND
“What’s with the sister? I took care of my kids on vacation and found them things to do. Maybe Sis should pay for a nanny on vacation? Oh, but wait, why would she do that or even try to parent her kids when she tries to bully her brother into slave labor? Stay your ground, or don’t go on this so-called vacation.”
PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS COULD TAKE TURNS
“It would not ruin my vacation to be with grandkids for a while. Parents and grandparents could take turns, and then if the uncle feels like it, he could offer to take the three boys for a few hours. If he feels like it.”
IT COST THEM NOTHING TO BRING HIM ALONG
“Yeah, that’s what I’m not getting. Last year they told him he was there “for free,” but what did it cost them to bring him along? He rode in a car already going to the same destination, so they had no travel expenses to cover. There was a third hotel room, but they would have needed either a third room for the kids or a suite for the sister’s family. Lodging expenses were also minimal to non-existent. It doesn’t sound like anybody covered his food or activities. He was on that vacation for free because it cost them nothing to bring him along.”
OP OUTWITTED HIS SISTER AND PARENTS
“I love that OP has outwitted his conniving sister and parents. Notice how his parents didn’t even own up and admit wanting to take advantage (AGAIN) but tried to make it all about it benefits OP? I want a better family for OP.”
WHY CAN’T PARENTS PAY FOR A NANNY
“Why can’t the parents pay for the nanny/sitter, or the grandparents watch their grandkids? I don’t know how it is with triplets, but my twins are exhausting, so I get it, but they are my responsibility. That’s parenting. Your vacations aren’t solely your own anymore.
I’m so mad for OP; his sister is an entitled brat.”
Anika Jindal
Anika is a CPA and founder of What Anika Says. She shares simple and actionable frugal living, money management and money-saving tips to live a debt-free financially independent life. She has been featured on popular websites like Bankrate, Forbes, Mint ,and Authority Magazine. Byline: MSN
Tell her to hire a nanny or go on the trip by yourself. Responsible people take care of their kids , They need a suite for the kids and sister family.
Why isn’t the dad helping with his children??
Since he can afford to pay for his own room and drive himself, why not go on his own vacation? Somewhere other than where his family is spending their vacation. That would take care of him having to do any childcare for his ungrateful sister.