Building a relationship and nurturing it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. Communicating your thoughts with your partner is an integral part of it. A user asked the men of the forum, “What are things you crave from your wife/partner that you don’t get?”
Here are some responses that help you improve your relationship with your partner.
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
“Usually when we talk, she gets her face down in her phone or doing something else, so you just get a huh uh, ya, uh huh. But whenever she wants to get her point across, I usually look her in her eyes and comprehend what she is saying. Maybe it’s not undivided attention, more like a respect thing.”
TIRAMISU
“My wife made me tiramisu one year for my birthday. It was incredible. It was such a pain for her to make that she doesn’t want to do it again, but damn, it was amazing.”
SIMPLE STUFF LIKE CUDDLING
“My spouse is disabled and has been for over a decade. Spinal cord damage due to cancer has done a hell of a job on her nervous system.
But I miss the simple stuff like cuddling and watching a movie. Going for a walk. Having someone help me with the chores…to rarely hear the phrases “before you sit down…” or “when you get up again…”
Steamy make-out sessions. Celebrating special moments with an evening in bed.
I love her. She’s my best friend. It’s tough, but the hugs, love, and laughter from our three kids and her do a good job of filling those holes.”
PHYSICAL AFFECTION
“I just want hugs. I’m a dude, and my wife doesn’t even want to hold me, snuggle me, etc. I just want my wife to WANT to hug me.”
REASSURANCE
I want reassurance that I’m doing a good job as a husband/father. ”
“I laughed at this because I was the same as my son’s mother. Now with my current partner, it’s the complete opposite. I get 2-page notes every month or outline all the good things I do that she loves.”
TO FEEL DESIRED
“I want to feel desired. I’m always the one initiating things in the bedroom. It makes me feel like garbage sometimes, honestly.”
BROWNIES
“She makes the most amazing brownies, but because everyone loves them, she’s sick of making them.”
COMPASSION
“The other day, I was stressed from work. I began to tell her what I was going through, and she just cut me off and said, “That’s just work! So you deal with it!” It sounds worse the way I’m typing it, but it was so empty. I get that she’s trying to buck me up and handle it like an adult, but it’s gone too far at my job, and she’s talking to me like a parent to a teen, not a wife to her husband. I responded to her with, “Honey, you’re not helping.” And I went to the bedroom and just cried a little. Just bottled it up with everything else.”
TO FEEL MORE THAN JUST A PAYCHECK
“To feel like I’m more than just a paycheck. It feels like my only reason to exist is to provide money. No physical affection of any kind; it’s been eight years since we had sex. It’s like she has no interest at all. Emotional support would be nice too. She piles all her problems onto me, but I have to deal with my own without bothering her because, whatever I’m going through, her problems are so much worse.”
CALMNESS
“My wife has a high-stress personality and a hair-trigger. She absolutely loses it in any situation that even slightly resembles a minor emergency.”
INTELLECTUAL AND SPIRITUAL CONVERSATIONS
“She is content to talk about only the mundane daily minutiae.”
“This is my feeling exactly. When I bring these thoughts up, I do not even expect her to dive in head first but just to have an exchange of ideas. She would rather scroll on her phone or talk about the dog, her boss, etc. It’s driving a huge wedge in our relationship.”
HONESTY
“She keeps lying about the smallest things. It’s gotten to the point where I’m considering breaking up with her because of it.”
EQUALITY
“If I need something from her, it’s at her leisure. If she needs something from me, it’s at her convenience, not mine. I’m supposed to rush to do what she wants. If I ask her something, it’s whenever she feels like it.”
SEX AND PERSONAL SPACE/TIME
“Regarding sex, we now have to put it on a calendar, and it’s usually once a month.
For personal space/time, sometimes I need some head space, especially after a bad day or week, because any small thing will cause me to blow up. It’s frustrating my wife doesn’t understand that, and we usually get in fights even when I’m already on one because she wants to spend time with me or that she doesn’t understand why I need to have some alone time.”
SPONTANEITY AND ADVENTURE
“My partner and I have nearly been together for eight years, and we’re nearly the complete opposites of one another. I think that’s our secret. I’m laid back, hate deadlines, love lying in regularly, and love art and spirituality. She loves to be up on time, likes to keep busy, doesn’t get most art, and is reliable. But she also hates anything out of our routine, socializing, etc. We cycle between trying to change each other, loving each other for our differences, or just doing our own thing. But it kind of keeps us alive.”
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Anika Jindal
Anika is a CPA and founder of What Anika Says. She shares simple and actionable frugal living, money management and money-saving tips to live a debt-free financially independent life. She has been featured on popular websites like Bankrate, Forbes, Mint ,and Authority Magazine. Byline: MSN